In the last few days it has become apparent that we have lost Eric and Shawna, we have lost Mr. and Mrs. Rush and have become solely Mommy and Daddy. Mommy is home with Evan all day and looks forward to me coming home from work for some much needed grown up talk and time together but at the same time I am walking through the door and grabbing Evan from wherever he is and holding him, talking to him and carrying him around with me everywhere I go until he falls asleep for the night. Generally when that happens it is our bed time as well and without watching TV we lie down and go to sleep and repeat the process all over again in the morning.
Without realizing it we have separated ourselves from each other and the things we did together that made us who we were. I have a feeling that we are not the only couple that this has happened to and I am sure we won’t be the last. We have quite a few things on our plate these days with the addition of Evan, the move coming up, Mommy will now be working, and the rest of the kids will be heading off to school again. All of these things have replaced the weekly flowers, the back rubs and the things that are better left out of this post that every couple needs to feel like they are more than robots.
Lost in the conversations and warnings of sleepless nights, shitty diapers and financial strains are the conversations about how hard it is to remain the couple you were. The TV shows that follow celebrities around with their families are an inaccurate and unfair portrayal of what the normal life of a family with a newborn actually is. We can’t turn to our live in Nanny and tell her we are going on a weekend getaway. There is no space in our home for the grandparents to stay and keep an eye on our four kids for the weekend and the bank account is not big enough that the new house and baby to have not impacted our ability to order takeout and a movie as often as we used to.
Having had 14 years in between kids for me and 7 years for her I think that part of the transition had been forgotten. Having a new born around, even when they are sleeping or just awake and happy, has the possibility of taking up every minute of your time at home if you are not careful.