It's been quite awhile, but with good reason I swear!

Hello everyone!  Sorry it's been so long since my last update but like normal, things are banana's here in the Rush household.  Over the last few weeks there have been quite a few family issues that we have been tending to as well as some episodes with Evan that those of you who follow our facebook page have been aware of. 
A week ago today we had our first big scare with Evan, he vomitted his entire bottle, his mouth and nose were full of formula.  He was left gasping for air and screaming in fear which as a parent is the worst feeling in the world.  We were shaken up but assumed it was just from a gas bubble or upset belly or something along those lines.  Tuesday morning came and the same thing happened which got us looking into pyloric stenosis due to some family history on her side.  We called our Dr. and went in for a check up and he said it did not appear as though that was the case seeing as how he was gaining weight (10lbs 8oz) and it had only happened twice but we were to keep an eye on him and if it happened again to take him to the ER and get an ultrasound done.
Which brings me to yesterday.  I was at work when I got a voice mail from my frantic wife saying it happened again and she was taking him to the ER. I rushed home, got in the car and drove up to the hospital where he was born.  It is a strange feeling making the same drive we took when she was still pregnant.  I have not been in that area since he was born so it was a bit surreal to make the drive again.  Anyway, we were in the ER for the afternoon with our little man for an ultrasound and check up to ensure his tummy was working the way it is supposed to, which it is.  We were essentially told to cut back a little on the amount of formula and keep him sitting up for about 20 to 30 minutes after each feeding before allowing him to lay down.
I had forgotten what parenting a newborn was like, what it was all about.  It is hard, it is exhausting, it is draining, it is expensive and it is 100% worth it when you are dead tired and you look down and your baby is smiling with a face full of formula.  Things have been tough lately.  My wife and I are navigating the waters of a relationship that has changed, my sister has been dealing with some problems at home and sometimes I feel like my parents turn to me the way I turned to them when I was younger, but as my parents only son and being only 3 years younger than my sister this tends to happen I suppose.  Along with the burdens of supporting my 6 person household and getting ready for a move that is happening in the next 2 weeks I have taken on the added stress and pressure of ensuring the rest of my family is doing ok as well.  This is something that takes some time to get used to with the addition of a new baby.  My days go from Evan's first feeding around 5:30 or 6:00am (which I do because I am up for work anyway) until 11 or sometimes 12 at night depending. 
For those who are parents you know where I am coming from and for those who are expecting take my advice on this one thing if nothing else, SLEEP NOW!  Trust me, even if your baby sleeps through the night like Evan does (usually 10 - 5:30 or 6) you won't. 

Please don't forget to order my book from Amazon.com - http://www.amazon.com/What-Didnt-Expect-While-Expecting/dp/1453698175/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281712135&sr=1-1

Where did we go?

In the last few days it has become apparent that we have lost Eric and Shawna, we have lost Mr. and Mrs. Rush and have become solely Mommy and Daddy. Mommy is home with Evan all day and looks forward to me coming home from work for some much needed grown up talk and time together but at the same time I am walking through the door and grabbing Evan from wherever he is and holding him, talking to him and carrying him around with me everywhere I go until he falls asleep for the night. Generally when that happens it is our bed time as well and without watching TV we lie down and go to sleep and repeat the process all over again in the morning.


Without realizing it we have separated ourselves from each other and the things we did together that made us who we were. I have a feeling that we are not the only couple that this has happened to and I am sure we won’t be the last. We have quite a few things on our plate these days with the addition of Evan, the move coming up, Mommy will now be working, and the rest of the kids will be heading off to school again. All of these things have replaced the weekly flowers, the back rubs and the things that are better left out of this post that every couple needs to feel like they are more than robots.

Lost in the conversations and warnings of sleepless nights, shitty diapers and financial strains are the conversations about how hard it is to remain the couple you were. The TV shows that follow celebrities around with their families are an inaccurate and unfair portrayal of what the normal life of a family with a newborn actually is. We can’t turn to our live in Nanny and tell her we are going on a weekend getaway. There is no space in our home for the grandparents to stay and keep an eye on our four kids for the weekend and the bank account is not big enough that the new house and baby to have not impacted our ability to order takeout and a movie as often as we used to.

Having had 14 years in between kids for me and 7 years for her I think that part of the transition had been forgotten. Having a new born around, even when they are sleeping or just awake and happy, has the possibility of taking up every minute of your time at home if you are not careful.

What the hell were we thinking?

Hey everyone, I know it's been awhile but things here have been crazy! Suprise suprise right?  We have four kids ranging from 14 to 5 weeks so it's shocking I haven't had time right?  Anyway, since I last wrote a few things have happened here in Crazy Land and the first of which is we found a house!  Finally everyone will have their own space and best of all, it's three floors and the teenage girls from hell have the top floor, which requires opening two doors to get to.  Please don't think I dislike my kids I just am a big fan of Louis C.K.  (if you don't know him search Youtube) and his bluntness about his kids is something I think is funny as hell.  Anyway, so we are moving into the house on September 1st and any and all volunteers in the area are welcome and will be rewarded with a BBQ the weekend after we move in.
Event #2 was Evan's Dr. appointment this morning - he is 5 weeks old, weighs 10lbs and is 22 and 1/4 inches long.  According to the Dr. he is "Perfect".  Next time we go he will be getting two shots, one in each leg and Mommy was already weak in the knees at the thought so it should be interesting.  I won't lie, I hate... no no no, I loathe needles so I am sure this won't be easy for me either.
Finally, after we went to the Dr. we needed to run some errands so we decided it would be a good idea to pick up all the kids and bring them with us.  Which leads me to the title of this post "What the hell were we thinking?!?"  We have four kids which can be a bit overwhelming.  I realize there are some of you out there with more kids or more younger kids but this was our first official trip out of the house, to somewhere other than a relatives house with the 4 of us.  We got inside Target and it was like they were shot out of a canon, or so it seemed.  I guess in reality they were well behaved but we were greatly out numbered.  At this point there are now two kids to every one adult in our family and it is starting to scare the crap out of me.  In fact, if not for the fact that in the next 4 to 5 weeks we are going to be packing up and moving all of us into a new house I would probably be breathing into a brown paper bag. 

Teen Role Models

I am not a huge believer in having celebrities as role models for our children, especially professional athletes but I did find something a little troublesome today on my way into work. Being responsible for the well being of four children, two of them entering high school, puts things into a different perspective than for someone who has no children, or has children too young to be influenced by celebs. So anyway, I was driving into work listening to some morning sports talk radio and they mentioned a poll that was done about month ago “Name your favorite male athlete”. The list included Peyton Manning, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Lebron James and some others that really didn’t make too much of an impact on me but then the mentioned who #1 and #2 were and it took me by surprise and then made me think about what kind of people we as fans are idolizing and introducing our children to.


There was a tie for first between Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant, second place belonged to Derek Jeter. For those who have short memories, don’t follow sports or live under a rock Kobe Bryant was accused of raping a woman a few years ago in Denver and to prove his innocence he bought his wife a $4 million diamond ring and Tiger Woods has slept with so many women not named Mrs. Tiger Woods he can’t even afford to keep them quiet. Derek Jeter on the other hand is engaged, has never been married, never been involved in a sex scandal, never had to make a public apology for anything other than not winning the World Series and from all accounts is a genuinely nice human being.

This also brings to mind the fact that shows like “Secret Life of the American Teenager” and pretty much anything on MTV these days. Now again, don’t get me wrong I won’t be in line for sainthood when I die but I am no longer a kid and look at all of these things differently. In case you haven’t seen or heard anything about this show the crux of it is that all of these kids are having sex or going down on each other and two of them have gotten pregnant (one last year and one this year). Justine loves this show and Tami watches it when we have it on our DVR and I may sound a bit up and down about it but I am glad they do because we sit and watch it with them and answer any questions and be sure to point out anything that would not happen in real life when it’s on screen.

For those of you who don’t have teenage kids yet you will be here one day. You will hear a story from your teen about a friend or catch a glimpse of a show they are watching and hear the characters talking about having sex and wonder what happened to the baby that fell asleep on your chest every night.

You know when I was a kid...

It has been a month since we rushed to the hospital. Four weeks have gone by since we rushed into the emergency room and began the final stage of the pregnancy. That’s right everyone, Evan is 1 month old already and the time has been rushing by. Evan has been a great baby so far, he sleeps almost every night for anywhere between 5 and 7 hours straight and is a pretty happy baby when he is awake. The only time we really hear him get a little cranky is when he has been sleeping for awhile and wakes up hungry. One of the nicknames we have given him is baby bird. When he is starving his mouth flies open and his head wiggles around the second anything touches his chin or anywhere near his mouth. He goes after his clothes, burp cloths, blankets, our noses, anything. Mommy and I have adjusted to the change in schedule and have been in a routine that is working great for us. The visitors have slowed down but that is fine with us because we are pretty greedy when it comes to him anyway  .


Shawna has not been hovering nearly as much as she was the first two weeks which is a great relief for me. In fact, this past weekend she went to a wedding that was about 1.5 hours away. This gave me the entire afternoon to be alone with Tami and Evan. I felt a lot like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away” when he created fire. It was hard for me to control my emotions sitting on the couch with the two human beings that were in this world because of me. I have created two lives and am partially responsible for ensuring they become successful members of society. There really is no way in the world you can describe the feelings you have for your children, it’s just something only a parent can understand.

On a completely unrelated note I was talking with my parents the other day and they had mentioned some of things they used to do when my sister and I were little to get out of the house but not spend a ton of money. One of the things they talked about was how they used to take us to a Chinese food place and get an order of pork fried rice, two egg rolls (cut in half) and a drink for us to share. Until that conversation I never realized that we shared a meal or anything. I only remember going there and having fun, sitting on a booster seat and eating off a red tray. Now kids expect so much and it’s because we continue to give them way more than we ever had. The things kids will remember most are the things I remembered. Spending time as a family and joking around with each other far outweighs the actual event. My Dad worked long hours Tuesday through Saturday so he wasn’t home that often but what I remember about those days were the trips to the community pool, day trips to the Pocconos (which he always called the Poke-a-nose) and just spending time doing things that didn’t involved a cell phone, a TV or a computer.

I am guilty of this myself. My kids don’t know what it’s like to get your clothes from a grocery store like I did when Laneco was big. They don’t share food and they sure as hell can’t breathe without some type of electronic device near them. Every generation looks at the one behind it and says the same thing, “you know when I was a kid …” No kid wants to hear that anymore than any parent wants to hear about Little Johnny and how his parents bought him this and they went there on vacation when they can’t afford to keep up with them.

Evan week 3

It's hard to believe that I just typed "Evan week 3" in the title line of this blog but time has really been flying by that fast.  We are just a few days away from his 3 week birthday and he is growing so much.  He had another Dr. visit today and is tipping the scales at 9lbs and measuring a whopping 20.5 inches.  I have found great solice in the fact that everyday when I come home he is there and needs me.  My first born is going to 14 soon and lives with her mother and does not need me the way she used to.  My step-daughter who is also 14 is in the same boat, she needs a ride to a friends house, she needs money for a pool dance but where these things come from are not a concern.  My 7 year old step son gets his food together when he is hungry, changes his own clothes and has the imagination of a muppet baby so even he is starting to be on his own more.  Evan on the other hand can't hold his head up on his own for longer than 30 seconds, he needs me.  It's good to feel needed as a parent for more than money and transportation.  I enjoy have the responsibility of ensuring this life that I have helped to create is taken care of.  During the pregnancy I was worried that I would be unable to do the things I needed to, like change a diaper fast enough or be alone and have to warm a bottle, change a diaper and keep him from fraeking out but it's all second nature.  The other night I woke up with him to feed him and I changed his diaper in the dark, didn't get peed on and put the diaper on the right way.
I generally do the feeding closer to the start of my morning to give myself a chance to spend time with him and to allow Shawna the opportunity to sleep uninterrupted and our team efforts have seemingly been beneficial for all of us.  The first few nights we both got up and were doing things but we soon realized that this was not as necessary as it is for one of us to be catching up on our sleep.  It is important for both parents to realize that this is a team effort and it is best to figure out and discuss what is the best way to handle everything, especially if the mother is breast feeding or pumping.  Everyone is better at certain things like diaper changing or feeding or bathing and you shouldn't be afraid to tell your partner how you feel about it.

First week at home with Evan

It has now been 9 days since Evan was born and they could not have gone by any quicker. His first night in the hospital was a looooong one. Around 3am we were feeding him from a bottle for the first time and began to make some abnormal sounds while breathing. We called for our nurse who listened to our concerns and took him to the nursery for what felt like an eternity. When she returned about 45 minutes later she explained that the difference between consistency in breast milk and formula along with some slightly swollen nasal passages were causing the breathing difficulties but showed us how to sit him up a little more and hold the bottle differently to alleviate this problem.


The next day came and we had visitors trickling in and out and the photographer came in to take some of the most amazing pictures I have ever seen. They were taken in the style of Anne Geddes by a company called OUR 365 and the woman behind the camera could not have been any nicer or gentler with my son. By the time evening rolled around we decided to head to the cafeteria for a snack but first we had to convince ourselves it was ok to leave him in the nursery and leave the maternity ward for 20 minutes. Our date night consisted of a turkey sandwich and cheese fries and a conversation about how our lives had changed in an instant and how happy we were for it.

We returned to our room and had one more set of guests and after a lengthy discussion about the need for a good night sleep before going home the next day we decided again to ask the nursery if he could stay there over night and be brought to us for feedings which we did. Well sort of anyway, Shawna got up a few times and walked to the nursery to bring him back into our room for feedings and to stare at him, Momma Bear needed to see her cub.

We came home on Wednesday afternoon to an empty house and our latest chapter began. There was much to do as far as unpacking from the hospital and last minute items we realized we needed. Extra burp cloths, receiving blankets, breast pump and some formula were quickly added to our list of needs and off I went on a shopping trip alone. My sister came with her family and made us dinner and to visit with the newest addition to the family.

Our first couple of nights at home were spent listening to the sounds of little Evan kicking around in his crib and making those cute little new born baby sounds that are so hard to go to sleep to because they are so adorable. More guests came over which included my parents. My father had back surgery the day Evan was born and was unable to make it to the hospital to visit his newest grandchild and could not wait for us to bring him over the next day so he waddled his way to our house, cane and all. He sat down at the table and held his grandson for the first time and turned into a big ball of mush.

The remaining days of my vacation were spent holding him and staring into his gorgeous blue eyes which have seemingly lightened by the day to what may turn into almost a sky blue color. There is a lot of emphasis placed on the mother and the worry of depression once the normal schedule kicks in but no one seems look into what a father goes through. When I was born things were different, my father didn’t take a week of vacation and from what I know most men didn’t. Father’s these days take more of a role in raising their children and I personally hate the fact that I am missing and will continue to miss moments in his life.

The last two weeks have been very diverse for us as parents. On June 17th our girls graduated from 8th grade. At 14 our oldest children have walked out of middle school and are headed towards high school as freshmen. Four days later our newest baby came into the world and we are starting at the beginning all over again and we are both more excited than we could have ever imagined!