Rolling over, eating cereal and fruit and everything else

Guess who's back?  Hello everyone!  I hope that you are all still out there and that everything has been going good for you.  Evan is now 4 months old!  Time has been flying by, it seems like yesterday I was sitting in the hopsital typing the story of the labor and delivery and being so amazingly nervous about how things were going to be.  Fast forward through countless poopie diapers, un-godly amounts of spit up stains and even more smiles and we are at today.  Evan's personality is developing the way I expected it to.  He gets pissed off and yells when he tries to do something he can't (like get a toy into his mouth right) and will laugh at anything remotely funny or amusing.  He loves LOVES loves Sesame Street, especially Cookie Monster, and has recently found the horror that is Yo Gabba Gabba.  He is over 13 pounds, eats cereal and fruit - Which by the way, does anyone know if Gerber makes anything other than apples, pears and bananas?  Anyway, our lives are full of bottles, diapers, bills and moments we never thought we would be sharing together. 
Our new house is great and the other three kids have adjusted seemlessly to having a baby in the house.  The girls help when needed (except for diaper changes that is) and Jay wants to be involved in everything. 

Life is good here in the Rush household.  I really shouldn't complain as much as I do about things.  Money is tighter but that was to be expected.  Alone time with my wife is limited, but that's not a shocker either.  But I keep reminding myself that all of the little things that have changed are definitely worth going through, especially when I get to look at my son everyday.

It's been quite awhile, but with good reason I swear!

Hello everyone!  Sorry it's been so long since my last update but like normal, things are banana's here in the Rush household.  Over the last few weeks there have been quite a few family issues that we have been tending to as well as some episodes with Evan that those of you who follow our facebook page have been aware of. 
A week ago today we had our first big scare with Evan, he vomitted his entire bottle, his mouth and nose were full of formula.  He was left gasping for air and screaming in fear which as a parent is the worst feeling in the world.  We were shaken up but assumed it was just from a gas bubble or upset belly or something along those lines.  Tuesday morning came and the same thing happened which got us looking into pyloric stenosis due to some family history on her side.  We called our Dr. and went in for a check up and he said it did not appear as though that was the case seeing as how he was gaining weight (10lbs 8oz) and it had only happened twice but we were to keep an eye on him and if it happened again to take him to the ER and get an ultrasound done.
Which brings me to yesterday.  I was at work when I got a voice mail from my frantic wife saying it happened again and she was taking him to the ER. I rushed home, got in the car and drove up to the hospital where he was born.  It is a strange feeling making the same drive we took when she was still pregnant.  I have not been in that area since he was born so it was a bit surreal to make the drive again.  Anyway, we were in the ER for the afternoon with our little man for an ultrasound and check up to ensure his tummy was working the way it is supposed to, which it is.  We were essentially told to cut back a little on the amount of formula and keep him sitting up for about 20 to 30 minutes after each feeding before allowing him to lay down.
I had forgotten what parenting a newborn was like, what it was all about.  It is hard, it is exhausting, it is draining, it is expensive and it is 100% worth it when you are dead tired and you look down and your baby is smiling with a face full of formula.  Things have been tough lately.  My wife and I are navigating the waters of a relationship that has changed, my sister has been dealing with some problems at home and sometimes I feel like my parents turn to me the way I turned to them when I was younger, but as my parents only son and being only 3 years younger than my sister this tends to happen I suppose.  Along with the burdens of supporting my 6 person household and getting ready for a move that is happening in the next 2 weeks I have taken on the added stress and pressure of ensuring the rest of my family is doing ok as well.  This is something that takes some time to get used to with the addition of a new baby.  My days go from Evan's first feeding around 5:30 or 6:00am (which I do because I am up for work anyway) until 11 or sometimes 12 at night depending. 
For those who are parents you know where I am coming from and for those who are expecting take my advice on this one thing if nothing else, SLEEP NOW!  Trust me, even if your baby sleeps through the night like Evan does (usually 10 - 5:30 or 6) you won't. 

Please don't forget to order my book from Amazon.com - http://www.amazon.com/What-Didnt-Expect-While-Expecting/dp/1453698175/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1281712135&sr=1-1

What the hell were we thinking?

Hey everyone, I know it's been awhile but things here have been crazy! Suprise suprise right?  We have four kids ranging from 14 to 5 weeks so it's shocking I haven't had time right?  Anyway, since I last wrote a few things have happened here in Crazy Land and the first of which is we found a house!  Finally everyone will have their own space and best of all, it's three floors and the teenage girls from hell have the top floor, which requires opening two doors to get to.  Please don't think I dislike my kids I just am a big fan of Louis C.K.  (if you don't know him search Youtube) and his bluntness about his kids is something I think is funny as hell.  Anyway, so we are moving into the house on September 1st and any and all volunteers in the area are welcome and will be rewarded with a BBQ the weekend after we move in.
Event #2 was Evan's Dr. appointment this morning - he is 5 weeks old, weighs 10lbs and is 22 and 1/4 inches long.  According to the Dr. he is "Perfect".  Next time we go he will be getting two shots, one in each leg and Mommy was already weak in the knees at the thought so it should be interesting.  I won't lie, I hate... no no no, I loathe needles so I am sure this won't be easy for me either.
Finally, after we went to the Dr. we needed to run some errands so we decided it would be a good idea to pick up all the kids and bring them with us.  Which leads me to the title of this post "What the hell were we thinking?!?"  We have four kids which can be a bit overwhelming.  I realize there are some of you out there with more kids or more younger kids but this was our first official trip out of the house, to somewhere other than a relatives house with the 4 of us.  We got inside Target and it was like they were shot out of a canon, or so it seemed.  I guess in reality they were well behaved but we were greatly out numbered.  At this point there are now two kids to every one adult in our family and it is starting to scare the crap out of me.  In fact, if not for the fact that in the next 4 to 5 weeks we are going to be packing up and moving all of us into a new house I would probably be breathing into a brown paper bag. 

Teen Role Models

I am not a huge believer in having celebrities as role models for our children, especially professional athletes but I did find something a little troublesome today on my way into work. Being responsible for the well being of four children, two of them entering high school, puts things into a different perspective than for someone who has no children, or has children too young to be influenced by celebs. So anyway, I was driving into work listening to some morning sports talk radio and they mentioned a poll that was done about month ago “Name your favorite male athlete”. The list included Peyton Manning, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Lebron James and some others that really didn’t make too much of an impact on me but then the mentioned who #1 and #2 were and it took me by surprise and then made me think about what kind of people we as fans are idolizing and introducing our children to.


There was a tie for first between Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant, second place belonged to Derek Jeter. For those who have short memories, don’t follow sports or live under a rock Kobe Bryant was accused of raping a woman a few years ago in Denver and to prove his innocence he bought his wife a $4 million diamond ring and Tiger Woods has slept with so many women not named Mrs. Tiger Woods he can’t even afford to keep them quiet. Derek Jeter on the other hand is engaged, has never been married, never been involved in a sex scandal, never had to make a public apology for anything other than not winning the World Series and from all accounts is a genuinely nice human being.

This also brings to mind the fact that shows like “Secret Life of the American Teenager” and pretty much anything on MTV these days. Now again, don’t get me wrong I won’t be in line for sainthood when I die but I am no longer a kid and look at all of these things differently. In case you haven’t seen or heard anything about this show the crux of it is that all of these kids are having sex or going down on each other and two of them have gotten pregnant (one last year and one this year). Justine loves this show and Tami watches it when we have it on our DVR and I may sound a bit up and down about it but I am glad they do because we sit and watch it with them and answer any questions and be sure to point out anything that would not happen in real life when it’s on screen.

For those of you who don’t have teenage kids yet you will be here one day. You will hear a story from your teen about a friend or catch a glimpse of a show they are watching and hear the characters talking about having sex and wonder what happened to the baby that fell asleep on your chest every night.

The book is for sale!

Guess what everyone?!?!? The moment I have been waiting for has finally arrived! My book is available now at https://www.createspace.com/3469029


createspace is an affiliate of amazon and is where the best deal is. Please be sure to check it out, leave comments to help me out and oh yeah, buy a copy! It's only $11.99 and... is a great read, especially for those that are expecting!

You know when I was a kid...

It has been a month since we rushed to the hospital. Four weeks have gone by since we rushed into the emergency room and began the final stage of the pregnancy. That’s right everyone, Evan is 1 month old already and the time has been rushing by. Evan has been a great baby so far, he sleeps almost every night for anywhere between 5 and 7 hours straight and is a pretty happy baby when he is awake. The only time we really hear him get a little cranky is when he has been sleeping for awhile and wakes up hungry. One of the nicknames we have given him is baby bird. When he is starving his mouth flies open and his head wiggles around the second anything touches his chin or anywhere near his mouth. He goes after his clothes, burp cloths, blankets, our noses, anything. Mommy and I have adjusted to the change in schedule and have been in a routine that is working great for us. The visitors have slowed down but that is fine with us because we are pretty greedy when it comes to him anyway  .


Shawna has not been hovering nearly as much as she was the first two weeks which is a great relief for me. In fact, this past weekend she went to a wedding that was about 1.5 hours away. This gave me the entire afternoon to be alone with Tami and Evan. I felt a lot like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away” when he created fire. It was hard for me to control my emotions sitting on the couch with the two human beings that were in this world because of me. I have created two lives and am partially responsible for ensuring they become successful members of society. There really is no way in the world you can describe the feelings you have for your children, it’s just something only a parent can understand.

On a completely unrelated note I was talking with my parents the other day and they had mentioned some of things they used to do when my sister and I were little to get out of the house but not spend a ton of money. One of the things they talked about was how they used to take us to a Chinese food place and get an order of pork fried rice, two egg rolls (cut in half) and a drink for us to share. Until that conversation I never realized that we shared a meal or anything. I only remember going there and having fun, sitting on a booster seat and eating off a red tray. Now kids expect so much and it’s because we continue to give them way more than we ever had. The things kids will remember most are the things I remembered. Spending time as a family and joking around with each other far outweighs the actual event. My Dad worked long hours Tuesday through Saturday so he wasn’t home that often but what I remember about those days were the trips to the community pool, day trips to the Pocconos (which he always called the Poke-a-nose) and just spending time doing things that didn’t involved a cell phone, a TV or a computer.

I am guilty of this myself. My kids don’t know what it’s like to get your clothes from a grocery store like I did when Laneco was big. They don’t share food and they sure as hell can’t breathe without some type of electronic device near them. Every generation looks at the one behind it and says the same thing, “you know when I was a kid …” No kid wants to hear that anymore than any parent wants to hear about Little Johnny and how his parents bought him this and they went there on vacation when they can’t afford to keep up with them.

Parenting across the ages

It has dawned on me that I am currently in the midst of a parenting rarity. I have to concern myself with the worries of two teenage girls, one 7 year old boy, and a soon to be one month old baby. My girls are at the ages where I am worried about them making the wrong decisions or getting mixed in with the wrong crowd as they begin their high school careers. Meanwhile I have all of the worries that come along with having a newborn; will he continue to be healthy, sleep at night and be a happy baby are among the big ones right now. Finally we have Jay who is sort of in the middle. Our biggest concern with him is that he doesn’t end up falling out of a tree lol.


Parenting is a hard gig and every child that you add increases your level of stress exponentially. Having kids in three distinct age groups gives me a great chance to appreciate what each age means to a parent. Babies are completely reliant on you (duh) for everything. When they are awake you need to be 100% on your game and ready to change a shitty diaper or feed them at almost any moment. A seven year old relies on you for bigger things, like getting a hot lunch together for them or listening to their stories that tend to last for 45 minutes and are about as full of fantasy as George Bush’s victory speech on that boat in Iraq.

This brings me to the teenage girls. First let me explain that I love these two girls and would do anything for either of them. I don’t want you to feel as though all I do is complain about them however this gives me a chance to vent and hopefully prepare you other parents for what is coming your way. Anyway, you would think that the age group where they can do things on their own; like go to the bathroom, make something to eat and wash their own laundry would be the easiest to handle however this is far from the truth. See the problem with kids this age is that they are also old enough to realize what they want you to know about them and what they don’t want you to know and try their best to make sure these categories don’t get crossed. There is a delicate balancing act going on between teens and their parents that is seemingly never ending. On one side, as a parent you tell your children to come to with everything and that they should feel comfortable telling you anything but sometimes it is hard to do that when they say or do something that is completely against everything you hoped for them.

Parenting is not for the faint hearted and I caution anyone who is thinking of becoming a parent who has a heart condition, a nervous disorder, a brain or a social life that you must prepare yourself for anything and everything.

Teenage girls are evil

I have decided now that Evan is here that the subject matter of my blog can now shift from all things pregnancy / newborn to all things parenting, from the father’s point of view anyway. Being a father requires you to have tough skin, especially if you have teenage daughters. If you have a daughter and she has not yet entered her teenage years enjoy the time you have with her now. At 9 years old your daughter thinks the world of you, you are a real life super hero to her. If there is a bug on wall, a monster in the closet or a thunderstorm outside, who does she turn to for protection? Her Daddy of course!

Now for those who are new to the blog or just don’t remember I have two teenage girls, Tami will be 14 in September and is mine, Justine is already 14 and is my step-daughter (that will be the last time you hear her referred to as “step” just wanted to clarify for now). I had a good father and daughter relationship with Tami for the first 9 years or so and then her mother and I got divorced. It’s unfortunate the way that divorce can affect the relationship and the grasp you have on your children, especially if you are the father because no matter how much you plead your case, unless your ex is a drug addict or abuser the children generally go to their mother. I have seen changes in her almost from the moment the divorce was finalized.

Over the last year Shawna and I have noticed a difference in the way she acts when she is with us, very stand offish, and almost looks like she is told she is going to be walking the green mile at any moment. So finally last week after being turned down for a lunch visit with me at work and her deciding, without asking me, to baby sit instead of coming over at the time she was supposed to I told her that from now on if she doesn’t want to come over every Monday and Wednesday she doesn’t have to. I was hoping that this would accomplish two things, the first of which being a little tough love. I was hoping this would show her how I felt, what it is like to feel a little let down the way I do when she turns down the opportunity to spend time with us. The other thing I was hoping it would do is get her more interested in coming because she isn’t forced to. Of course neither one has come to fruition so far. I think she was relieved that she doesn’t have to come here on a regular schedule and in fact she was supposed to come over last night and chose not to. Again, the need for tough skin is ever so prevalent when dealing with teenage girls.

My other daughter Justine has a father who comes and goes depending on his relationship status. If he has a new girlfriend he tends to show up more than he does when he is single. We may not hear from him for 4 or 5 months and then he goes on a stretch where he wants her every other weekend for about a month or so and then vanishes again. I have known Justine for about 5 years now and feel no differently for her than I do Tami, but alas she is a teenage girl and there for, like the other teenage girl in my life, repeatedly makes me feel like I am nothing but a cab service and ATM without meaning it. Her on again off again father does not pay child support nor does he make any attempt to however his current girlfriend and her two or three kids live in a house, with a pool and drive a relatively new SUV. When she is with him her limitations are minimal, she is on the computer at 3am and gets brought to a night club on the boardwalk at Sea Side Heights NJ for teen night (13 – 18 year olds). Within my walls the computer time is limited and a night club is something she only sees on TV. I understand he is her father and she has more freedoms when she is with him however my comments on Facebook get deleted, I get the bitchy attitudes for 11.5 months a year and I foot the bill (gladly by the way) for all of her expenses. One day I hope these girls realize that I am a little stricter than their other parents because I care and am looking out for them. I was a father at 14 and refuse to be a 28 year old grandfather.

My ultimate goal as a parent is to be a parent first and their friend second. I am not looking to score points for being awesome, I am looking to score respect. I might not get my reward until the girls are married and have kids of their own but that is fine by me. When I am a grandpa one day and my grand kids are being bitchy to their parents and shouting about how unfair life is that is, that is when my reward hits. When the girls realize just how much I sacrificed of my time, money, blood, sweat and tears and how they were to me, that’s the moment I am waiting for.